Here is my contribution to July's Blog Chain, in which we break all of the rules to remember why we need them.

The Mini Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest means trying to write the worst possible first line of a book or story in the spirit of Edward "It was a dark and stormy night..." Bulwer-Lytton. "Worst" in this case is subjective, but florid and ridiculous purple prose is probably closest to the spirit of the thing.

Lillian Isabella Rosehem stared forlornly at her reflection in the mirror, studying the strikingly blue eyes, fluffy eyelashes, flawless skin, pixie nose, perfect lips, delicate chin, and perpetually silky long blonde hair, and sadly wondered why she had to be so amazingly popular at school and have such a boring, totally loving family that willingly gave her whatever she wanted.


Woo, boy, there she is!  Ain't she a bute?

Check out the others:

orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month's post)
AuburnAssassin - http://clairegillian.com (link to this month's post)
dolores haze - http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
Horseflye - http://thecozylittleplot.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Proach - http://www.deannaproach.com/ (link to this month's post)
BigWords - http://bigwords88.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
jkellerford - http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
xcomplex - http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
Diana Rajchel - http://blog.dianarajchel.com/ (link to this month's post)
pezie - http://www.erinbrambilla.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
Guardian - http://daewrites.blogspot.com/ (YOU ARE HERE)
egoodlett - http://wordlarceny.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Alpha Echo - http://writersramblings81.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Euclid - http://euclid-thoughts.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)