I'm awesome.  Can I say that?  I give myself so much flak - I think I deserve this one.

I have posted a 500 word minimum story/chapter each week for the last 210 weeks!

That's at least 105,000 words... which is seriously an underestimation because ONE story I have edges close to 160k and it couldn't have taken up 30 of those weeks. So a better estimate is 250,000 words.

This is 4 YEARS of consecutively weekly prompt fulfillment, people.  Not saying all of those weeks are good. LOL. But I did them. Holy hay.  Now I just need to wait for the moderators to confirm... and for someone to make my award.  If I screwed up somewhere, I will be SO upset. I still want my shiny graphic, even if to some people it's just an image.  It means EVERYTHING to me because I worked so hard to get it. 

Now what will I do, I wonder?  Aside from watch My Little Pony like a fiend! That's my new favorite show by far! But as far as writing goes, I need to figure out how to take this weekly dedication... and put it 100% into my novel.

Seriously, this is the best show ever. EVER. More on that later.

I've seen so many things on TV, movies, and books about high school and teenagers that I'm starting to get concerned about what is a 'normal' high school experience. 

I see these 30-something actors trying to act out an edgy screenplay.  There's either so much bullying, these kids look like a hive mind mafia, or there's a large group of BFFs who are so close, they'd use the same bathroom stall and then reminisce in their diaries for an hour.

High school must be horrible for someone somewhere. I'm not even sure, because I've only been to pretty rural schools. No gangs, not much racial diversity, not so much with the rampant bullying.  Do we have problems?  Sure. My school still has drug users, fights, drop outs, and girls who get knocked up in the 8th grade.

Why are the problems so amplified in movies?  There always seems to be a gang of uber-popular girls plotting to basically break some other person's kneecaps.  I realize that a story needs a conflict, and some of these stories are based off of real experience.  Sad for the person who had to go through that.  But can we get a little more of a rounded view of it?  If I based my thoughts of high school off of books and movies, I'd start to think I was going into a warzone, or that there's a 150% chance I'll come out pregnant and addicted to heroin or cutting myself.


First of all, yeah, I've known some people who did cut themselves.  Let's dispell some stereotypes.  They didn't walk around with gothic clothing believing that they are so much emotionally deeper than everyone else.  They were mostly girls, but these were just the ones I knew about.  They wore long sleeves and hoodies even in the summer.  They were not friendless, they were not depressed 24/7 or suicidal.  One girl I knew told me that she cut absolutely anywhere she could get away with.  Not her arms, her entire body.

These people still have friends, though.  Friends, boyfriends, interests, pets, things they love.  At least in my experience, these people were not socially rejected, or completely alone.  It's something else altogether.  Something I don't think I could begin to dwell on, and won't attempt to do so.

Bullying? I won't pretend it's not a problem. Our school seemed to think there was a problem, judging by the poorly drawn anti-bullying posters on the walls. There was one boy that I'll call Greg for the sake of this post. When I first met him, he was picked on by other kids. I felt bad for him... for all of five minutes. Then I realized why he was picked on -- he made ridiculous claims, like that deer had opposable thumbs, or that he'd killed a wolf with his bare hands when he was 8. Moreover, instead of being able to laugh and let it roll off of his back, everything that people said struck him like a fatal arrow.


This is the age group that calls names, cuts other people's hair off, and could get away with destroying property. If your high school resembles this... just wtf?


 The most recent bullying I saw in a movie was a girl with leg braces being called a retard by another girl and having a drink dumped all over her right in the middle of a (conveniently empty) hallway. High school, really? Because I've had drinks thrown at me... in middle grade. I've seen girls blow up about friendships and boyfriends over the slightest thing... in junior high. Why are these the things that get portrayed in high school? We kind of grew out of that, thank god.

But again, I've only been to one high school.  Other ones sincerely do have problems with gangs, hard core drugs, weapons, etc.  I was lucky, I suppose.  I'm not trying to dismiss those other experiences. Just remember that my experience is valid, too.  Not all high schools are full of horrible people.  (But they still feel like prisons and incite anxiety and depression in plenty of people anyway.)   I was not a jock, not a popular person, but I didn't have to live inside a clique.  I was able to be what I wanted, and do what I wanted to.  Popular kids would even talk to me or pay me a compliment now and then.  Imagine that! What a relief.

My tip to anyone still in school: learn to let things roll off your back.  Laugh it off.  Things don't have to be so serious and grave all the time.  Worry more about that 7 page report you have to write for the teacher you hate. But not too much.  Just get it done and bond with some of your peers by complaining about it. ;)

When I talk to people about writing, or ask them questions, I always try to avoid talking about what I'm actually writing about. I admit, I feel a little ashamed.

I am writing a werewolf story.  Yes, werewolves.

Perhaps you don't see the issue. Perhaps you are one who instinctively grits their teeth.  Perhaps you are a concerned sort.  "But Dae!" you cry, "Werewolves and vampires are being done to DEATH. Why would you do this?"

Well, for starters this is no Twilight book full of vegetarian monsters.  The plot started years ago.  I actually remember checking out the book Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause when I was in Junior high, 5 years ago.  I read the book and thought to myself, why do werewolves and vampires always have to fall in love with a human or want to become human?  Don't get me wrong, I loved the book (refuse to watch the movie) but yes, this started as an anti-Blood and Chocolate plot.  I wanted to completely turn it on its head.

I started building my characters and plot about 4 years ago.  It was simpler then. Or not so much.  I worked out the entire family of werewolves meticulously - their names, their origins, history, personalities, relationships, desires, physiology, strengths and downfalls.  I wanted my FMC to be strong, thoughtful, deep, intelligent, disconnected from the human world, anti-social, fiercely loyal to her family, and with an urge to go run free.  She was born in Russia -- she spoke French.  Yes, that was absurd and it got dropped quickly.

My secondary character started as just a girl labeled as a "slut".  The girl with the bad reputation, and she hated it so much she embraced it.  I didn't know what else to say about her.  Here was this girl who would wreck my FMC's world. I didn't know what her parents were like, or her home life.  I didn't know what her goals in life were. I still sort of don't.  But I guess that's okay - when I was her age I wasn't sure if I'd ever see a future. I couldn't imagine one for myself.

Then I realized I wanted to make this story about BOTH of them.  Somehow shove them both into the single spot of Main Character. Leave them each morally ambiguous and deeply flawed. Let the readers decide which one was the hero, and which one the villain.  I kept feeling like my human MC was the villain... and then that she wasn't, and so on back and forth. But how would I ever balance both?

A friend of mine helped me come up with a subplot. While the book would continue to deal with my human becoming infected, there would be another issue - one of the wolf FMC's brothers (who had never had a big feature) hated himself and his family. He considered them monsters. He wanted to forcibly stop the spread of disease.

I had these two amazing plots to twist together.  Now how to write?  Nothing worked. I've been through a dozen different rewrites of the opening scene.  How will the human MC and wolf MC meet?  How will the infection happen?

It took me a while and I realized that my human girl needed a dad.  She'd previously had a bitter mother who was divorced.  Now I gave her a dad.  A police officer - the only one in their small town - and she loved him. Her parents were still estranged, and seemingly about to fall into a divorce.  The dad solved how I would introduce the two characters.  But a new problem arose.  With a dad, my character became a whole new person.  She loves her dad, I realize.  She went from the sexual, aggressive character I needed to becoming a shy, reasonable person. She was lovely.  I needed ugly.

I had to kill her dad.

Not just take him away again.  I realized I had to introduce him... and then kill him.  It was what I needed to make her snap.  I also realized that my human girl and wolf girl shouldn't be enemies from the start.  They had to be friends.  Perfect friends.  In fact, I think that they need to fall in love.

My ultimate revelation thus far was this:  my human MC is the main character.  IS.  No sharing lime light.  No huge subplot.  Her story needs to be told, from begining to end.  And this shocked me.  She started as such a minor character, and a stereotype.  She was nothing more than an addition to the story of a family of werewolves.  But no.  This actually wasn't about them at all.  Which made me cringe in fear -- if I wanted the other plot to ever be printed, I'd have to go for a series, or at least a sequel.  If the first fails, the second will likely never be told. The story of the werewolves I labored for years to create will be nothing but background noise for a character who came out of nowhere.  And I suppose I would be okay with that. I'm not upset - I'm amazed.

My book is strange.  The characters are in the YA age group, yet I'm not sure if the book will be suited for it.  Maybe I'm wrong - I haven't read many dark YA books for a while.  The entire book is mired in blood, death, insanity, murder, blackmail, betrayal. 

I have it plotted from beginning to end and back again.  But what have I written?

5 words.  My title.  I'm afraid. But I feel that inevitably, it will happen.  I have a fully written novel in my head, and not a lick has yet come out of my finger tips.  I'm carrying a werewolf novel around that doesn't exist. I'm ashamed. But also so astonished.

Dear freshman girl,

I had the pleasure of helping you in pep band for a short time. In that time, I grew fond of you, because of your affiliation of being a fellow percussionist, and out of sympathy and fascination for your personal life - namely, your "friendships".

I've heard from elementary teachers before that when you go into high school, even the strongest friendships are often ripped apart. For you, I hope that is true. This may seem awful to you, but in my own opinion, losing your friends could possibly be the best thing to happen for you personally, and anyone else in your position. I know they may seem so important now, but frankly to the rest of us, your friends are batshiat insane. They constantly upset you, and one has so many tantrums and emotional breakdowns it is a wonder that she has any friends at all (and honestly, she reminds me of myself at her age).

There's a sort of magical quality to high school, even one as small as ours. You can see someone every day for a year, but then their schedule changes, and suddenly you never see them at school. Never.

This is the death sentence to friendships, though it doesn't have to be. I had 2 best friends when I started elementary school. I was a horrible little girl back then, like your overly emotional friend. But things change, and personalities smooth out. I went from loving them to hating them to loving them again. And we are still friends now, coming out of high school. We stayed in touch through clubs, after school activities, and social networks.

But this magical disappearing act can be wonderful - and I know this sounds mean - to get rid of old friends. Sometimes you would have to put in extra effort to ever see someone. This means that a bad friendship can grow apart, and you can each go your own way. Perhaps you will become friends again someday. If they aren't good for you, let them go. And I beg you, bass drummer girl, let your two friends drift away. Let them grow with experience and let their minds and emotions settle.

You will all change over time, some more than others. They may come back to you, or you may realize you are so glad to never see them again. You may not even remember them. The thing is, we are not the same person we used to be years ago. I would not be friends today with many people I used to play with. I am friends today with many people I never would have gone near as a kid.

Lastly, one thing I wildly endorse is to be yourself. Dance even if there is no music. Sing when everyone is paralyzed with fear to speak. Do what you want to do, not what everyone else is doing. The result is that you will love life more, enjoy your days, love yourself. Those who make friends with you will truly like you for YOU, as opposed to a mannequin version of yourself who only knows how to follow the trends and listen to the popular music.

I care deeply for you, drummer girl, because I see so much of my troubled former self in you. Know that I don't have the answers to everything, but I have found personal happiness, and that is what I wish for you.

Sincerely,
A drummer girl