I never realized how squeamish I was until 10th grade, learning about the human heart.  I got so sick, my handwriting got worse and worse in my notes, and then stopped because I couldn't hold the pencil.  My wrists felt sensitive and frail.  I wanted to smack my head against the desk.  I wasn't going to puke, I felt I was going to pass out at any second.

I always thought that people who got sick in health class or biology class were stupid or weak.  But then it happened to me, and I couldn't help it.  And no one else was affected.  A video about a girl breaking her arm got to me when it came to the healing process involved.

And it's stupid.  Really stupid, because I can talk about gore all day long.  *I* can.  But something like an academic lecture about heart valves?  Um.

I made this diagram so maybe the non-squeamish people can get a sense of how I feel when I get enervated by talk of blood.  And it's pretty much always academic or medical talk that gets to me.

I suppose I have an overactive imagination.  It bothers me, I think, because I start thinking about me and my blood and how it is pumping away in my veins and, oh dear...

A thread came up about vampires and blood loss.  I could answer the questions, because I've donated blood before and I read the pamphlets.  But as I wrote on, I started getting the above symptoms.  I had to bow out.  I keep peeking into the thread, but each time I do, I get sick again.  Never been such a problem.

Now, me, I loved dissecting in high school.  Except for the worm dissection because worms are just gross.  I loved cutting up the frog legs.  I could shove my whole arm into a dead sheep in real life.  I don't mind getting my blood drawn at a clinic.  (Last time I donated blood was a bit different, though.)  But lordy, I can't handle someone else talking about it.

It sucks, one of my favorite things is gore.  I like looking up those old medieval torture methods and devices.  But halfway through an article listing and describing various tortures, I'm so badly affected I can't function.  I have to go lay down... for a few hours.  Pretty stupid, huh?
4 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    It's funny the different things that people are squeamish about! My boyfriend is really into science, he's a very logical rational person and has no problem watching horrible body-related things on tv (while I cower behind a cushion), but when he sees any kind of injury in real life, he gets queasy and light headed and sometimes even faints. It's strange, because it's a completely physical thing for him - in his head he has no problem with it.

    I like your diagram!

  2. Dae Dreams Says:

    I'm pretty sure I could handle an injury in real life. Maybe not diseased people, but gushing blood? I could probably handle that. I think I just consciously or subconsciously think, this is me, when people talk about simple blood stuff. If they keep going on about it, the simple fact 'I have blood' really gets to me. It sucks! But I haven't passed out yet. It's weird that just the idea can get me so sick!

  3. April Says:

    Hmmm....you are very...complex. LOL. I'm not exactly squeamish, I don't think. I can read some pretty nasty stuff. One book, I can't remember the title, had an awful torture scene that made me shake, and when I put the book down, I realized I had tears running down my face.

    As far as movies and stuff go, it's not the death that bothers me, but I turn my head whenever I'm expecting anything violent at all. The worst of it, though, are the shouts and screams that come from the people being tortured and/or killed! Sometimes I have to cover my ears too!

    April (Alpha Echo on AW)

  4. Dae Dreams Says:

    I guess everyone has their own thing, April. :D I'm personally affected more often by straight up clinical talk. But I will admit that I had to turn away from a Saw movie more than once because of the loving detail (scene when the doctor drilled into Jigsaw's head, and scene with a man's limbs being rotated until they broke were especially bad for me). One thing that always squicks me out is fingernail torture - having them ripped off, or when a victim claws at the floor/wall in a horror film. sfgsjgdsslglgs!!