I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.  Trouble is, nothing will happen without an inciting action.  I need to do something - but I keep waiting for that something to happen to spark me.  Nothingness is perpetual.

Everyday I go to work, I alternately feel more in control, more at ease and having power over something, even little somethings. But I also get more burned out and hate people.

I feel ugly. I hate myself because I know no one will ever love me. And I can't muster enough energy to really change anything. This is killing me.