Here is my contribution to July's Blog Chain, in which we break all of the rules to remember why we need them.

The Mini Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest means trying to write the worst possible first line of a book or story in the spirit of Edward "It was a dark and stormy night..." Bulwer-Lytton. "Worst" in this case is subjective, but florid and ridiculous purple prose is probably closest to the spirit of the thing.

Lillian Isabella Rosehem stared forlornly at her reflection in the mirror, studying the strikingly blue eyes, fluffy eyelashes, flawless skin, pixie nose, perfect lips, delicate chin, and perpetually silky long blonde hair, and sadly wondered why she had to be so amazingly popular at school and have such a boring, totally loving family that willingly gave her whatever she wanted.

Woo, boy, there she is!  Ain't she a bute?

Check out the others:

orion_mk3 - (link to this month's post)
AuburnAssassin - (link to this month's post)
dolores haze - (link to this month's post)
Horseflye - (link to this month's post)
Proach - (link to this month's post)
BigWords - (link to this month's post)
jkellerford - (link to this month's post)
xcomplex - (link to this month's post)
Ralph Pines - (link to this month's post)
Diana Rajchel - (link to this month's post)
pezie - (link to this month's post)
Guardian - (YOU ARE HERE)
egoodlett - (link to this month's post)
Alpha Echo - (link to this month's post)
Euclid - (link to this month's post)
6 Responses
  1. Coupled with the mirror cliche and everything. Nicely done :).

  2. Anonymous Says:

    A self absorbed girl with a longish name and the tomato in the mirror effect.


  3. Anonymous Says:

    Is "Lillian Isabella Rosehem" also your Bulwer-Lytton name?

  4. Dae Dreams Says:

    @Erin That's what I was going for! Plus I added as many adverbs as I could.

    @ralfast, thank you *bows*

    @nonexistentbooks no, I didn't end up doing that thing. It would have been Lady Nancy Clarythumper

  5. Ellen Says:

    LOL. I did the mirror thing too, haha. Love it!! There are soooo many YA characters out there like that... ;)

  6. Anonymous Says:

    That was awful. I want to pop Lillian one in her pixie nose.